Ahhh Girl said
Wow, it took me a long time to read that post, Kite, because I couldn't read while I was shaking from laughter.
Nancy, can I borrow Paul for a few hours? He will be fine. I'll take good care of him.
@Annadog40 hadn't created the Fifty Shades thread before page 1 of this thread happened. Some of those posts belong over there.
1. I'm not sure you'd ever return him! 
2. Really, there's even a published fanfic posed ...